Elena and the Old Man

One day, in the last week, Elena told me about a conversation she had had with a neighbour of hers. He is an old man of 60 or so and not very popular. He told Elena that he had talked to me many times.

‘Oh Yeah’ said Elena, ‘since when did you learn English’?

He said that he had always known English. He had introduced me to his son apparently who had refused my desperate please to go out with him. So instead he had decided to marry me himself! Elena was outraged at his preposterous arrogance.

‘How dare you’? she shouted. ‘That is my daughter you are talking about’.

‘Your daughter?’ he said ‘ but she is English’.

‘Oh, you are so stupid’ retorted Elena ‘ of course she seems English. She has lived in England for many years and has forgotten much of her Romanian. She is staying here for a visit. Now don’t you ever speak to my daughter again! If you so much as go near her I will punch you in the face’!

The neighbour was a little taken aback by this coming from the gentle and delicate old Mrs Patreascu. But then he commanded ‘Well, if your daughter lives in England you will get me an English girl to marry’. However, Elena simply sneered and replied ‘I’m sorry but you haven’t the face for an English girl’ - And that was that!